so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
