You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Randomize
