Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
