I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
