No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
