dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
