I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He better not be in your backpack
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
