One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
