ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
