The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
