dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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