it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
