Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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