I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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