Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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