dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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