I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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