margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
