btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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