On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
