Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she looked like the before picture.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
