ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
