Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry cwo hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history

Fav 17 4530 982
share tweet
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...

Fav 3 2445 1165
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.

Fav 5 2982 1316
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.

Fav 3 1604 969
share tweet
(239): View more from Florida

All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth

Fav 9 980 2006
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.

Fav 17 1141 2714
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(601): View more from Mississippi

No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.

Fav 8 2019 899
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...

Fav 0 146 141
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(765): View more from Indiana

Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.

Fav 0 56 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT