: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
