how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
