im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
