Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
