i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
