He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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