new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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