So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
