you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
