nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
