if you like me you must not know who I am
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
