Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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