I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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