New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
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