i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
