Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
