he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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