i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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