i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
