I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
