please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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