If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
