I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
