I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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