did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
