He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
