his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
