Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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